RANVIJAY

I burned myself for you, as I want to show you that you're the sparkle of my love that lit up my soul. Do I sound mad? Or insane? Wait for the right moment, and everyone will surely find out about my madness.

I was at the army hospital to get my burned hand dressed. By the way, what happened to me last night? Why the hell did I burn my hand? And the answer was my silence.

"How did you burn your hand, Major?" Dr. Rajiv asked, while my eyes were pinned to the hanging portrait on the wall. The portrait was entirely blue, and that again reminded me of the blue eyes of that anklet girl.

"I had been saving my life, that's why I got hurt," I said in my sharp, cold tone. "Don't worry, it will heal soon." The doctor bandaged up my palm. I grabbed my jacket from the side chair and stood up. "I've prescribed some medicine; it will heal the wound soon."

"Forget it, doctor, taking medicine pisses me off", I grinded my teeth. I walked out from there. Who takes pills for minor injuries? I threw my jacket into the Jeep and got seated. "I think some shots of rum would be the perfect choice to treat you", I said while bending my burned hand to my chest.

I accelerated and left the hospital. After driving for 30 minutes, my phone rang. "Yeah, Arjun," I said, gripping the steering wheel. "Did you get your checkup?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm done," I said. "Can you please pick me up? I'm nearby, Hussain Dhaba." I turned left. "Fine, I'll be there."

♡

I finally reached the destination that Arjun told me. I could see him through the windscreen frame. I pushed the brakes. "You are rude, but a lifesaver as well." Arjun's bright smile instantly dropped when my annoying glare met his eyes.

"Maybe 'rude' is offensive to you." Arjun couldn't stay silent for a few minutes. "Not at all. It glorifies my personality." I growled, but he cut me off. "Yeah, the angry man personality." He laughed.

"Can we have lunch together, since we're near your favorite place?" After a while, Arjun asked, and I nodded. I stopped the jeep at Hussain's dhaba.

I wore a black commando t-shirt. I often stopped at this dhaba to have a cup of tea and eat. My heart found comfort either in the battlefield or at Hussain's dhaba, where I spent some alone time.

"We have to catch the train tomorrow," Arjun said, and I followed him, not paying attention to his words, my eyes still pinned to the flower pots passing by. Lilies. Beautiful.

"Why aren't you answering me, Ranvijay?" Arjun spun around until he faced me.

"Don't you have enough words to carry on a conversation?" He held my hand and flashed my watch in my face. "It's only 2 in the afternoon, and I think you still have some words left." I could understand Arjun, but I was so lost in my own thoughts.

"Yeah! I—I was lost..." I stopped midway when Hussain approached me. "Ranvijay bhai, you've come after a long time," he chuckled. Hussain was very fond of me. He was brilliant in his studies, but his father didn't have enough money, so I bore his study expenses.

"How have you been, Hussain?" I asked, patting his head. "How are your studies going?" I was talking to Hussain, on the other hand, Arjun settled himself on the charpai.

"Good, bhai. I study hard because I want to be an army officer like you." A small smile tugged at my lips after hearing his confident words. Smiling was difficult for me—I didn't know how to smile, but I had a PhD in being aggressive. 

"Of course, and I think you will be a braver officer than me," And his sparkling eyes assured me that he would undoubtedly become the best officer.

"Hussain, bring chicken curry, egg curry, and naan for us," Arjun placed the order before I rolled my unwanted glares at him. "Relax, angry man. We can celebrate our cheat day today," he shrugged causally. 

"I have to do 100 pushups more in exchange for this cheat," I grunted. "And you can surely do it," he tapped my arm. Arjun Rathore was a 6-foot-1, whitish-contrast man with whiskey-colored eyes and dark-black hair. We had known each other since college, as we studied together, and he was my best friend and comrade as well.

"Ranvijay, you're very attached to Hussain, aren't you?" Arjun asked as I sat in front of him. It was hard for him to digest that a rude and bitter person like me could love someone. While we were talking, Hussain's father brought the food. "Here is your meal. Please enjoy."

"How have you been, Uncle?" I asked, looking at him. "I'm fine." He answered with warm smile. I squeezed my eyes shut in pain, picking up a bite, as my right hand was wounded. Fuck the pain!

"Are you okay, Ranvijay?" Arjun asked, concerned. My veins popped on my forehead because I was furious with this fucking pain.

"Don't be angry, and tell me one thing. What stupid thing were you doing at night?" I looked at him in shock. He was talking about the anklet incident.

"Don't give me that glare, Ranvijay. Do you have any idea you harmed yourself just for an anklet?" He rasped, making me sigh. It was not just an anklet. It was hope, peace, and everything I couldn't explain in words.

"Where did you get that?"

"I'm not going to tell you." I was the type of person who didn't like to share my personal matters with anyone—not with anyone.

"Of course you don't. Your stubbornness is too much," He snapped back. "I don't want to discuss this," I replied, dropping my eyes to the floor.

"Ok, let's put this aside. We're finally going home after a year. I'm very happy," he said. "Finally, I'm going to see my 3-month-old daughter," he added.

"I'm excited to take her in my arms. God, that moment, her small hands." he smiled, his face lighting up with the news of going home, happiness dripping from his words.

"What's the matter, Ranvijay? Aren't you happy that we are going home?" He asked, and after taking a deep breath, I said no.

"No, but why?"

"I don't love my family, so I've never craved to live with them," I replied. My family members' presence annoys me more than anyone else's. "I'm used to being alone, and anyway, there's no one special at home whom I yearn to meet," I said in a rude tone. The reason for my hatred toward my house is my father and my stepmother. Because of them, I molded myself into someone who seems rude, arrogant, and emotionless.

"Ranvijay, sort out your differences with them. I know you've faced tough spots, but now you should be with your family. After all, family is everything, and for us, family is more important than other people," My red eyes cut him off midway. 

"Arjun, I don't like speaking about my personal matters," I growled.

"If the topic of discussion is my family, then I'm not interested," I closed the topic immediately. I really didn't like talking about my so-called family, who had no love for me, and I hated them. Suddenly, Hussain came over and started picking up the plates. "Bring us two cups of tea," Arjun said to Hussain.

"Ranvijay, now you should get married." And there he was, starting on yet another uninteresting topic. Why did he always want to talk about marriage?

He continued before taking a bite of naan. "Yeah, life becomes more peaceful when you have a partner with you." His words made me sigh. "Don't sigh, Ranvijay. You need someone who will mitigate your rudeness and hatred," he added.

"I don't understand relationships like marriage, and I don't think any girl would have the ability to change me or mitigate my rudeness. My problems are not her concern." I refused immediately.

"But marriage is a beautiful bond. I mean, loving your partner and craving their love and attention makes life beautiful," Arjun explained, showing the loving side of love. And why not? He has a loving and caring wife, and he was on cloud nine when he married her.

He said while my eyes were pinned at the flower that was blossoming just on the right side of mine, and it also had a blue colour, "blue color stop chasing me or else you don't know my anger", I smirked while his words again cut off of my gaze. "Don't you think you deserve someone who only loves you madly?" he said.

"I agree that marriage is a beautiful relationship, but an ugly person like me is not worthy of it," I replied, rolling my eyes at him. "I've never felt the feeling of love, so how could I ever reciprocate it to someone else?" Arjun had a look of disagreement on his face, which was expected.

My maa loved Dad so much, but what did he do in return? He married someone else. He left Maa when she needed him the most. Their relationship made me believe that there's no such thing as love in this world.

"So, it's better to keep a distance from love because there's too much attachment in love matters. If a person doesn't get that love, they have to travel through life until death, but the desire for that love never ends." I confessed painfully, not realizing that I had already stepped into the trap of love.

♡

All the soldiers were preparing to go home and were excited as well. They were laughing with Arjun. "Arjun sir, we will surely visit your home to meet your daughter," Gaurav chuckled, the most annoying brat in my battalion. "You are all invited to my home for a celebration," Arjun said next.

We are best buddies but have opposite personalities, as he has a lighthearted approach to life and a witty sense of humour that make him popular, and on the other hand, I have an aggressive approach to life. I am notorious among the battalion cadets as a rude and strict commanding officer.

Their smiles instantly dropped as I stepped into the camp. "Jai Hind, sir," everyone said together, and Arjun turned his neck. "We have a departure at 11, so each report should be done at 10:30 at the station. Am I clear, officers?" I commanded them and walked out after hearing, "Yes, sir."

I dragged my hand into my pocket, took out a cigarette, and started smoking. Whenever I was stressed or furious, only smoking could calm my nerves. "Can I take your cigarette?" Arjun's voice came from behind. I extended my packet to him. Arjun was not only a partner in missions but also in smoking.

"Ranvijay, have you done your packing?" I hummed in response. "I heard the celebration news." I puffed on my cigarette. "Are you going to throw a party?"

"Celebration might be later, but for now, I'm going to send a photo of her to everyone. I'll send it to you as well," he said, blowing out a smoke ring.

"Don't send it to me", I replied. I don't have enough time to play message message on the phone, it is quite irritating. I rare use my phone because I don't know how to make conversation. Do I sound like an alien? "I decided to meet her so I'm gonna visit your home soon", I said, and he paused his glares at me. "Really?".

"Then do one thing, bring that anklet girl with you." I rolled my eyes at him, and it looked like he was trying not to laugh. I get it now. This jerk was teasing me. He knew very well that I didn't know about her. "Forget about her." I turned my face away.

He laughed at my situation. "Look at you, your expression is like I mentioned her and she stepped into your thoughts." He tapped my shoulder. I wish I could break his nose.

Arjun was quite a fantasizing man, and it was the first time he saw me with girl ornaments, so it wasn't hard for him to understand that she meant something to me. "Arjun, stop irritating me," I yelled, wanting to prove him wrong. "Why? Don't you have something in your heart for her?"

"No, I don't have anything for her in my heart." Arjun arched an eyebrow. "What? I don't know words like love or attraction." I paused and continued, "Neither do I want to love anyone nor do I want to be loved by anyone, and you know that." I threw all my words out in one shot, but he was still laughing at me.

"Huh... you're making me frustrated, Arjun," I growled before rolling my eyes at the soldiers who were doing push-ups on the ground. "You're a liar!"

"If you don't want to love someone, then why were you so desperate last night to take that anklet out of the bonfire?" I started flicking my eyes after hearing his question. He was right. If I don't want to be in love with someone, then why do I sleep with the anklet that belongs to an unknown girl attached to my heart every night? Why did I burn myself for her last night?

"You've started falling in love with her." I rolled my eyes at him. Really, am I falling for her? "When we love someone, we keep their things close to our heart." He started to convince me, but did I get convinced? NO. I pressed my temple hard.

"I have to go for some reports, please excuse me", I ignored him and walked out from there.

♡

Arjun and I were on the train, and I wanted to sit by the window to feel the breeze. "Arjun gave me your window seat," I said, in low voice. Why the hell did he become so comfortable so quickly? He glared at me like I was his biggest enemy.

"Take it! I'm going to sleep in the upper coach." He went to the upper coach to sleep. I threw my leather jacket aside, unbuttoned my shirt to the chest, and sat down. A notification popped up on my phone, but I ignored it like trash. "I also want to sleep, but I don't know when sleep will find its way to my eyes," I whispered, closing my eyes.

Whenever I sat alone, I didn't know why I became a loner. Each scar of mine flashed in front of my eyes. My heart fluttered in pain as I kept remembering my wounds. I started feeling uneasy. I tugged my hand into my pocket, took out the anklet, and placed it on my restless heart. I was feeling better now. "It's been six months since I've used this anklet as medicine to heal my heart's wounds, but why?" I questioned to my soul.

This is insane, no one can control me like this. It's been six months for me to fall for her like this. Is it not madness that I'm falling for a girl whom I barely know, and the cherry on top moment is that I don't know how she looks like?

I got frustrated with myself, and I thought there was only one way left for me to get rid of this. I clenched the anklet in my fist and pulled my hand out of the window to throw it. Come on, Ranvijay, throw it. You can't be a puppet in anyone's hands. Do it, Ranvijay. I glanced at the anklet while my grip tightened until my knuckles turned white. 

"I can't take you away from me." I immediately dragged my hand inside and placed the anklet against my heart. I sighed in relief when its pleasant sound mixed with my heartbeats. I could hear the sweet music, closing my eyes.

"You are mine and will always be mine," I murmured, caressing the anklet with my cheek. Every touch of the anklet made me crave more for its owner.

♡

I reached Pune (my home city), and it took me 1.5 hours to get home. Cab driver stopped in front of my house. I grabbed my jacket and bag and stepped out of the cab. My eyes fell on the nameplate, tugged on the left side of my house. The name of my home is SWARG (heaven), which was given by Aaji (grandmother). There was nothing like heaven in this house, and I didn't know why it was named that.

As soon as I rang the doorbell, I was welcomed by Kaki (aunt). "Ranvijay, how have you been?" she chuckled, and I glared at her. I don't know why my aunt's voice annoys me. I touched her feet to take her blessing and walked away before she could give it.

"With whom are you talking at the door? At least bring him inside," a woman said from behind. My eyes landed on Aaji, who was sitting on the couch. "Ranvijay!!" I touched her feet too. "Deva tujhe hamesha khush rakhe." She kissed my forehead, which annoyed me because I didn't like being touched by anyone.

She gestured for me to sit beside her. "How have you been, son?" I nodded in response. She was the most powerful lady in my house, and her name was Kalyani Karmarkar. "Sir, water," Tony offered water to me.

"Ranvijay, son, when did you come, and how are you?" A female voice echoed in my ears from the staircase. I placed the glass on the side table and stood up as the woman entered. I hated her, and she was the reason I hated home. Her name was Bhagyashree, my father's second wife and my stepmother, but I never called her Maa.

"Ranvijay, this bandage on your hand. Are you okay, beta?" Aaji asked worriedly, caressing my bandaged hand, but I jerked my hand from her grip. "I'm okay."

Everyone stared at me as I walked towards the staircase leading to my room, not giving a damn about everyone's concern. "Thank God you are okay," Bhagyashree cried. 

But do I care about her concern? No...

"You must be hurt seeing me fine, Mrs. Karmarkar, don't you?" I taunted her. Why the hell has she always wanted to talk to me? Why can't she understand that I hate her? I turned, but a smooth female voice stopped me. "Ranvijay, my son!!" It was my mousi (aunt), and I paused on my steps.

She walked toward me, but my back was still facing her. "How have you been, son?" She rubbed my back, and I turned to hug her tightly. Her solace had warmth like my Maa. I just felt that I was embracing Maa. She was my elder aunt as well as my mother's real sister.

My mother and Manju Mousi were sisters and married into the same house. Mousi loved me like her own son, and I also respected her like my mother.

"It looks like you're not eating properly. Just look at you—you've become so weak," she scolded me. She's still the same, always worried about me. How do I explain to her that I'm perfectly fit and have to eat according to my diet?

♡

I entered to my room, and it didn't seem as if I had come home after a long time. The curtains and bed sheets had all been changed. From the beginning, there were two beds in my room, one in the middle of the bedroom and the other near the window. I often use a window bed, as I don't sleep much.

I turned my gaze to the left wall. There was a photo of me in my service uniform, and my mother's photo hung next to mine. My mother's name was Vaishali. I was only 6 years old when she passed away, and from that day on, I distanced myself from my father. I used to hate seeing Bhagyashree in my mother's place, and that hatred was increasing with time.

This hatred had reached such an extent that it was destroying me from the inside. "How are you, Maa?" I ran my fingers over her photo frame. 'Look, once again, I have defeated all my enemies and come back safe. It was all your blessings. I miss you whenever I come home." I was feeling disheartened. It had been 23 years, yet I remembered her every day like this. Earlier, my eyes used to be moist, but now all the tears have dried.

"May I come in?" Mousi asked, and I nodded. "You haven't freshened up yet, and I brought kanda poha for you." She scolded me again. "Give me 10 minutes." I quickly went to the shower and came out in exactly 10 minutes, as I couldn't risk taking more time. I took the plate, sat down on the bed in front of her, and started eating.

She had magic in her hands, and her food was always delicious. I really enjoyed it but didn't know how to appreciate it. "Seems like you love the food but won't be able to tell me," she said, patting my head with her lovable touch. She knew how stubborn I was.

"Ranvijay, why do you always behave so rudely with Bhagyashree Vahini? She is your maa, beta." My spoon froze midway. "She is not my maa," I corrected her.

"Ranvijay, it's been 20 years, and you still behave like you did in your childhood," she said.

"Fine, good night, sleep well." She stood up and took five steps when my jacket, scattered on the floor, caught her attention. "Why do you throw it on the floor?" She grabbed the jacket while I remained on the bed, eyes closed.

"Ranvijay, what is that?" Her anklet started tinkling. I immediately opened my eyes. My eyes widened as Mousi was about to grab the anklet. "Mousi, stop!" I screamed, and she got startled. I immediately got down from my bed and snatched my jacket from her.

"Nothing," I stammered. "I can take care of my stuff. You don't worry about it." I said, but her expression was screaming, Ranvijay, you're surely hiding something from me.

"Okay, take care." With that, she left. I took a deep breath of relief. First, I closed the door and went back to my bed.

I took out her anklet and threw my jacket on the bean bag. "We were about to get caught today. You should be careful," I said, clenching the anklet in my fist.

♡

COCO - comment and votes for the next part.

Please do comment and votes as i don't get whether you liking the story or not. And your votes and comments motivates me to write.